I miss y’all!!!

(we ended up being bridesmaids for D)

I wish to be in a free space where I don’t have exams anymore, so that I can spend my weekends ruining the lives of my best friends! Well, I dug my own pit and I’ve fallen in to that and I will have to crawl out by myself. Never mind, this busy time will be an investment right! For life at least! But I can’t be lying…. Continue reading “I miss y’all!!!”

Gaga triggers me a lot these days!!!


Believe me when I say, I played her extremely beautiful song ‘Always remember us this way’ in A Star is Born’ exactly 7 times on my way to work today!!!! And right now, I got down from one bus and waiting for another. Even if I’m standing at a bus stop waiting for a bus, I can’t help myself penning down these thoughts. Today, being the Valentine’s Day and, me – not being so much of a fan of it, I chose good music to start the day instead. In love, we all get weak at times. We all become shaken at times. It’s not always perfect. We get fears as well as tears. Gaga has just voiced all my fears. I feel like! Oh damn! You are truly inspirational. Highly influential. I love you so very much. You trigger me almost in every way Gaga.

Continue reading “Gaga triggers me a lot these days!!!”

He is my home…….

I’m not flaunting my relationship, and I don’t want to. Life with a man is never so easy. Life with my man is a complete mess. A real struggle. And a war sometimes. A war worth fighting for. We don’t have the perfect thing between us. He doesn’t even understand when I say I miss him. I keep accusing him for not making me his priority. I know he misses me too. I know how much he loves me as well. But this is so weird.

Especially when you are in a long distance relationship, if you measure all the pros and cons on a scale, being the girlfriend, you get the minimum time to spend with him once he is in the country. One may say, it’s a matter of priorities. Well, I know. But on the other way around, people are different and it takes some time for them to understand and act accordingly. My man, being the social guy, surrounded by friends always, I get a very less time to be with him, which eventually made me hate his friends those who get more time to spend time with him.

I work in Colombo. We both are from the same coastal town in the south. He, coming to see me in Colombo when he is in the country doesn’t work well all the time. So I have to take leaves and go home and be with him, which is a considerable commitment. But that’s okay. When my man is concerned, I don’t give a damn to my job. He being the centre of my entire universe, there isn’t any single thing that I won’t do for him.

One may say that’s an addiction. Well, may be. But I feel love more than being addicted. It’s like magic. He is also doing his part of commitments; coming to see me all the way from New Zealand at his earliest possibletimes, making me happy whenever he can, etc. But when I don’t get to see him every day when he is in Sri Lanka, I go mad. I’d rather call it insane. But when I’m with him, I’m so at peace.

He is my comfortable space.  He is my home. He is my existence throughout life. I know he is full of flaws, but full of love as well. When I get mad, I even go to the verge of breaking up with him. But when reality hits me, I get imaginary thoughts, another woman is doing all the love talk to my man and cuddling with him, and I suddenly want to take all such stupid decisions back. How can I see him with another woman? You can call me a jealous and possessive woman. But once you get attached to somebody so deeply, it becomes the most wanted.

I’m passing a very hard phase. My man left the country two days ago and still I’m crying. I know I have to be strong. I know we have to plan our future together. Our dreams and everything. But I feel so lifeless. So gloomy and messy. And it’s true when they say you can feel homesick for people too. When he has become my home and suddenly when I’m away from home, I feel so sick. I know I have to stand up and keep up the good spirit. Life is hard. So is he. And so is this love. But that’s okay. I love him so deeply no matter what. I miss him so badly. So badly.