I’m a sound heterosexual. I usually attract to my opposite sex. And I have never felt even a slightest attraction towards a girl in a passionate manner. When a pretty girl passes by, I never hesitate to praise her beauty. But being a girl, girls are not probably my choice in relationships. I’m settled in a relationship with a man and I don’t think that I have mistaken my feelings in love. Yes, I’m straight. But that doesn’t mean I’m normal.
I will place a little bit of stress on ‘being normal’. Being in a heterosexual relationship means somebody being normal? Or in the other way around, not being attracted to the opposite sex is really abnormal? Or weird. May be some years ago, but not anymore. You may wonder where I am heading with this talk. I’m not an active supporter of LGBTQ movement. I just belong to that category where people find no fault with somebody being gay. I’m not a LGBTQ critic. But I just don’t find any fault with two people of same sex sharing a life together, making a home and living a family.
India has recently got the right to be in same-sex relationships. It is not a crime anymore there. I saw many posts and article going viral on the internet. Certain Sri Lankans have made some eye-catchy captions to show that they support and respect the bold decision. ‘Congratulations neighbour, for breaking the barrier ‘. I personally congratulate them for taking an advance step. For thinking fairly. For casting aside the rigid practices and thoughts. I’m really really proud of our big neighbour.
Condition in Sri Lanka is vastly different when compared to India. Here police will not catch you and jail you for having a relationship with somebody who’s in the same gender as yours. It’s not a legalized crime in Sri Lanka (as far as I know.) But the problem here is the attitudes coming from the so called normal heterosexuals. How heterosexualism looks down the homosexuality. How they condemn such people regardless of their private needs and wants. The problem is with these conventional mind-sets where people don’t want change and people being so selfish.
Do we need to break the barriers too?
By birth I attract to the opposite sex, and I can’t help it. That is the major reason for me being in a relationship with a masculine persona for three years. Because my need is centred on masculine mind and physique. Because I need attention, love, care, jealousy, sharing, complements and everything coming from a man. In my personal context, coming from the man I love. So me being involved in a relationship with a man is not an odd for this society. Nobody judges it and take it as disgusting because I belong to the accepted category. I’m a heterosexual. That’s how I was born and I can’t change it. I can’t change it even if somebody forces me to. I can’t change my inborn way in getting into relationships, even if somebody takes me to jail and labels me as a criminal.
What if I say the same occurs with the LGBT people. What if I say, they can’t change of being so, even if somebody threatens to kill or hang them alive. What if I say that’s how they were born and they can’t just help it getting attracted to the people of the same sex. In many stories of LGBT people, it was not planned. It was not a trap either. It just came out at the right time. They just figure out how they feel in love just like any of us. They just can’t find themselves having feelings toward the opposite sex. It’s similar to how I look at a girl and can’t feel love and attraction towards her. Likewise, homosexuals can’t help themselves getting attracted to their similar sex. I think it’s very wrong to define homosexuality as a sin. And more of as a crime.
For transgenderized ones, it’s bit of a similar story. Once they start figuring out how they actually feel, they feel like they are trapped in a wrong body. So urge of turning into what they actually are becomes stronger and they feel so uncomfortable in acting in a way that they really can’t do. That’s where they decide to turn into the one they actually are. Because they can’t remain in a wrong body. Is it that bad to be the ones they really are?
Why this inequality? Why treat them bad? We suggest every time that it is the time to stop being so conventional. To give them respect but not to brand them as some sort of shit. We all should accept the fact that it’s not how they want to be, but how they are. It’s not them being so illicit, it’s how they are. It’s not abnormal and it’s very normal.
They deserve a peaceful and happy life with much respect to live with the community and be the normals. Somebody somewhere must be struggling of trying to figure this out. Somebody somewhere must be struggling of not being able to let the world know about them. somebody somewhere must be spending nights awake thinking about how they are, because somebody else has told them it’s a sin, that he/ she brings shame.
It is not! It is really not! Even you have a right to live. To do whatever you want. It’s not a shame. It’s probably your pride. Because you are unique in your own way.