I need to stop being so insecure…….

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The above is a picture of the necklace I’m wearing these days, a customized silver necklace bought from a famous online shop in Sri Lanka. I have reasons to wear it. Most importantly it was the love for the man of my life that has ingrained into my veins. I always wanted something pretty to wear in the name of this love so I got it made for myself. Whooooooo! A customise name engraved necklace ♥ And I was proudly and gladly wearing up to now.

With this new piece of jewellery, I removed my gold necklace which I had been wearing like for four years. Removed as in I put this new silver necklace on and kept the gold one in a safe box at home. You know what, there are several tremendous stories behind that pretty gold necklace. It was gifted by my mom when I was entering the university back in 2014. So, I have a major reason to love it. I was living apart from my mom for past four years. So I was wearing it as a token of love from mom and as a saving grace ♥ I felt immensely secure when I had it around my neck. But today, for the second time I understood that if I want it for the lifetime, it should be forever kept in that safe box at home ☺

I’m always telling y’all that despite the country’s beauty and the smiles of its folks, the mind-sets of certain Sri Lankans are still primitive. You may wonder why I’m telling you this in the middle of nowhere. But the said gold necklace has gone through many dark phases as well as me. True that Sri Lanka is a beautiful country with beautiful people. But still there is a certain type of useless buggers spoiling the name of this good community. And I can never be so pissed off at such crappy people.

So I told y’all that now I’m wearing that silver necklace and never removing it even after I go home after work. Simply, I’m wearing it all 24 hours every day. Now I think it might be some hidden guardian angel who entered the thought into my mind of getting it. Today I thank God the most after having a crappy morning like 4 hours ago.

I left home at 6.15 in the morning to get a bus to go to work. I couldn’t be late to work. So my mind was in a rush. I was walking down the lane to the main road. And since it was too early, less people were in the lane but minding their own businesses. I passed an old man who was sweeping the garden and neither of us paid much attention to each other. So I was still walking down the lane. And suddenly I could see a man who was taking the main road on his motor bike, got a turn to the side of this very lane. And for a millisecond I felt bit strange. The man was riding the bike straight in the lane from the right side and passed me who was walking in the left side. I thought he might be going to a house located in the lane. So I decided not to pay much attention but back in my mind something was bugging me. I could feel that something was not correct. Something was so strange.

And suddenly I could hear a roar of an engine behind my ear and I turned back and checked. God! That man was behind, on the bike coming towards me stretching his hand as if he was trying to snatch my necklace may be assuming it was gold. I got so scared but reacted immediately thanks to my past experiences. I got a sense that the man was aiming my necklace and or my handbag. I hold my bag tightly and shouted and the moment he was trying to touch me, I was ready to hit him by my bag. And the next moment he was gone. I got goose bumps! My necklace was safe! I was safe!

Well, that was my second time. The said gold necklace was once half-snatched by a thief while I was in a train. The necklace was broken at that time but it was safe with me. For some miracle the thief was unable to grab it. Later on I came to believe that my necklace was my saving grace. Because each time I wore it, I felt like my mom was so closer to my heart and I felt so secure. However I got it fixed after that incident and started wearing it again until two weeks ago. Luckily I got this silver one out of love or whatever thing very recently. Imagine that I was wearing the gold one today; it would have been surely stolen by that man. May be when he came closer, he could see that this was not a gold one, and he might have gotten so disheartened and let it go. Whatever! Still I couldn’t help thinking about that bleak incident which scared me to death.

The great assumption among such necklace thieves in SL is that women who are usually in sarees to work are wearing gold jewellery. Because women in sarees usually believe that they look better when they put some fancy necklaces on. But eventually they become the targets of such thieves. We, women knowing nothing wear everything we have, to work end up being the targets. Here is a country where we feel so insecure even to wear what we have.

Even after an hour or so, my heart was still pounding so hard. I got so immobile but made it to the bus somehow. I just don’t know!  Going here and there alone, in a country like this, I constantly feel so insecure. Feel so insecure to go out alone. Feel so insecure to dress nicely. It’s hard to live in a community with uncivilized savages where women are becoming more of targets of everything; harassments, robbing, abuse and what more! Can we really teach such cowards to act according to morals and manners? These are the real ones who’re bringing darkness and labelling the whole community as barbarian. The only thing we have as women is to pray for God asking him to protect us from every bad spell.

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4 Replies to “I need to stop being so insecure…….”

  1. For what it’s worth, there’s also the old saying, “God helps those who helps themselves.” I would consider basic self defense training. You’d be surprised the level of confidence it inspires, both in you and in those around you.

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